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.a stolen story about suspicion, betrayal, desire, and redemption.
"there's no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these.." - jason mraz |
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hear me out .
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Deszya, VIC, Melbourne
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"when i stand, i know i'll never be down again" - shiina ringo
I capture myself as a portrait of an extremely random person and i am proud of it. I had never been an easy person to hang out with, can be all over you one day but then hardly seem to know you exist..
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Date: Monday, 29 June 2009 || Time: 5:18 pm
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"Maybe the feeling just went away..."
or "You can't blame the blueberry pie. It's just, no one wants it" Is that what happened to me lately? Would I be able to finally see the blessing in disguise behind all these troubles? Labels: in my darkest hour |
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Date: Saturday, 20 June 2009 || Time: 5:25 pm
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I do not want to turn 21 when both of them are nowhere to be found.
I do not want to turn 21 when all facts are misleading and has swept me off the ground. I do not want to turn 21 just to face a more complicated reality. I do not want my birthday. I just want to arrange the pile back to its place, and shout at them to let me take care of my life, which has been obliviously ruined by them. Is that too much to ask? Labels: in my darkest hour |
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Date: Thursday, 18 June 2009 || Time: 8:42 pm
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Date: Tuesday, 16 June 2009 || Time: 10:15 pm
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Honestly? I kinda miss Astrid Chou... Labels: my own fairy tale |
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Date: Saturday, 13 June 2009 || Time: 12:03 am
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I do not want to come in between, but enough is enough. I do respect you, but sometimes, maybe, just sometimes, you need to learn to stop scolding me and listen to me. You have no valid reason of growing a significant doubt that risk my friendship just based on your own intuition. And for the record, I am not a little girl anymore. After what I've gone through from my latest relationship break-down, I learn a lot. I learn that one might be all over you one day, and the next day they might turn you down. So I basically tell myself about that, over and over again. Until I know that even you, I am truly very sorry, but I think from now onwards, I just have to seal my lips. Nothing I say will make the situation any better, right? You started this whole-bad-intuition-thing, I have nothing against anyone and like before, you ask me to choose between you or... or what? I choose myself. The one that I need to protect. Like I said, I am willing to risk it. For my sweetest downfall. You are right. When I come home, you will see me as someone new... Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: Friday, 5 June 2009 || Time: 1:15 pm
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It came to my concern after a random chat with one of my friend. I felt intrigued, questioning myself of what kind of author I have become in years since I started writing, scribbling stories by handwriting, as jealousy crept under my skin for those who write without flaw or without intermissions. I twist hundred words. Still, i cannot find the right word to start a story. Right now, it's only me my camera, my laptop, my lousy grammar, and mute and remote stories spinning on my head that could never be expressed freely.1 minute feels like forever. Writing this diminutive, fastidious arrangement of words unquestionably does make me feel like an awful author. My life ain't so groovy, even for me, I just never had something spectacular enough to be written back in my journal or being told to everybody i know. I've written a same, if not persistent, entry like this one year ago in this very journal, and I see myself now is quite still full of self-doubt. These are just short updates and some unexciting experiences ever since I moved abroad. As I’ve said before these are just short updates. Nevertheless, I find that this still and fragrant moment of my life now has something to be told. To me. Point-blank. Then, what am I waiting for? Go figure. Okay, I have a lot of phrase but I guess now I'm losing my words even more. You've got the best of both worlds You're the kind of girl who can take down a man, And lift him back up again You are strong but you're needy, Humble but you're greedy And based on your body language, And shoddy cursive I've been reading Your style is quite selective, though your mind is rather reckless Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is Hey, what a beautiful mess this is It's like picking up trash in dresses Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write Kind of turn themselves into knives And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear 'Cause here we are, here we are Although you were biased I love your advice Your comebacks they're quick And probably have to do with your insecurities There's no shame in Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging Don't mind my nerves. Don't mind my guts that I cannot spit out in the exact words. This is just me, and I don't mind being trapped here if it could bring me further. Someday, somehow... Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: Thursday, 4 June 2009 || Time: 8:57 pm
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Date: || Time: 1:57 am
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"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." . - A. Einstein says:
Sasya Fitriana saat ini sudah duduk di kelas I SMU Taruna Bakti Bandung. Kendati novel pertamanya baru diluncurkan Desember tahun lalu, ia sudah memulai menulis novel itu sejak kelas III SMP. "Aku baru dapat kabar dari Mizan setelah tujuh bulan novel itu aku masukin ke sana. Setelah itu baru dicetak," kata Sasya. Saat ini ia tengah menyelesaikan dua novel sekaligus. Salah satunya ia beri judul Suddenly Something sama seperti novel pertamanya yang judulnya juga memakai bahasa Inggris. "Enggak tahu juga sih kenapa judulnya pakai bahasa Inggris. Kelihatannya bagus aja pakai bahasa Inggris," ujar Sasya oh my, this is hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing after he sent me that article. We even found one friendster profile that stated she admired my books. I could not believe how innocent and extrovert I used to be. Khas ABG! Oh my, may I laugh again one more time? Been almost 5 years since the publisher phoned me to inform that my book would be published. Do I still have my taste of writing? Have I improved? Okay I don't care, for now... I just want to reminisce, and laugh out loud again, remembering the silly old days... rofl, rofl, rofl... ! Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: Tuesday, 2 June 2009 || Time: 1:46 pm
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Saya sangat takut failed sebuah mata kuliah saya yang melibatkan options, international parity condition, investment & portofolio, purchasing power parity, frinctionless market, dan masih banyak lagi. Tapi saya mencoba untuk tidak mengeluh karena saya sedang menjalani detox anti mengeluh. Tapi tetap saja, jujur, saya takut...
Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: Monday, 1 June 2009 || Time: 8:47 pm
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Sometimes i say stupid things No you boys never care Franz Ferdinand - No You Girls Tonight: Franz Ferdinand Labels: Almost Honest |
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