begini nih nasib jadi cewek!


apalagi komunitas cewek yang kerja di kitchen itu sedikiit banget. otomatis, habis dikerjain! belakangan 2 orang yang hobby ngerjain saya.. adalah *still* boone plus navin. kali ini... apes banget deh.. boone semprot whipped cream ke muka saya.. PENUH! trus navin pegangin tangan saya. ihh!!

pas saya tanya.. "kenapa sih hobby banget ngerjain saya??"

navin jawab: "cause you are like our lil' sist!"

apaan.. ! mentang2 dia tinggi, saya pendek.. huhh!! dan kayaknya mereka berdua gatel banget.. harus SELALU ngerjain saya.. kalo ngga mungkin bakal gatel2 sebadan. saya ini kayak anak teka deh, kalo ada di deket mereka. abis bo, dikerjain!! ihhh!!!

oh I wonder.. kalo aja di dapur bole pake high heels.. terus saya jadi setinggi navin, udah saya takol dia! trus boone.. lain kali ngga akan saya belepotin mukanya pake bleu cheese.. saya bakal siram kepala dia pake bleu cheese! andai.. saya setinggi mereka..

Labels: hell's kitchen

Life is for us to learn and benefit from it, so why it can be so unfair sometimes? Nevertheless, it can be really hard to live your life to the fullest, and it gets even harder for a person who does not trust herself like me to let go all that analyzing and planning and second-guessing myself.

I often tell myself that, no matter how much the dose is, self-doubt can be destructive because by having it stick on your head like fats stick with your stomach, I keep my point of view in perspective and do not let myself up for disappointment. This perspective tends to make me stuck, and I let it control myself until that doubt creeps into other parts of my life ; from my friendships to my social life to work.

For me, it's not hard to foresee my own failure. I grew up without knowing much about my father and during high school, I let myself sunk & refused to socialize with others because I told myself that they wanted someone popular, they wanted someone pretty, smarter, or whatever. Basically, they won't want me. My school was a private school, whereas most of the students have already known each other since kindergarten. Some students who joined with the same batch as me, well I thought they could survive well.

I did try, though. I always do, until now, but it was all in silent, a complicated soundless internal battle that I tried so hard to cover so that it would not have a visible effect unless someone brought it to the surface. I finally gave up trying to blend with the crowd when I went to my second year because I was tired of asking myself : how could I be so disconnected from the people around me?


There was another problem, and this one was more common for teens. Yeah, it was related to crush.. love.. relationship.. whatever you call it. But that was not the main point here.

Back to the previous issue, the question spiraled into worse thoughts and now, 4 years later, it still can crash my self-esteem into pieces. It was horrifying and the thoughts went on and on like that. Blaming myself and only myself.

The upshot was my memorable 17th birthday, when I cried for 2 hours straight. I wasn't cry about questioning myself, but about a lifetime of feeling misunderstood by others. I was tired. Sick. And I just wanted to give up. By then I was so tired of arguing with myself, and if the environment could not stop hurting myself, maybe I should walk out from my lame perspective.

Time after time as I shuffled through scarwled notes and mad-thoughts, I was paralyzed by my lack of confidence. No matter what the challenge before me (high school, my first-published book which could be said far than the word 'succeed', or a relationship), for all my past accomplishments, I torture myself on the way, always wondering, Why would they pick me? Why am I good enough to do this? He'll never like me as much as I like him, and I'm not that special.


This is my journey.
And as being said, whatever thing that does not kill you can only make you stronger.


Vulnerability plays a key role in my life, but that's not what life's all about. This is about how to cure the fragile and vulnerable feelings inside me. Years gone by and somehow even though I feel like I just want to give up, I could not stop myself for feeling blessed by learning how to forgive, love, enjoy, and explore myself as I am.


It wakes me up to the realization that though life is unpredictable, things can change for the better dreams that we thought were long past can still come true and that we increase our chance of that happening by believing that we are deserving.




Finally, I thanked one song that I currently listen to for inspiring me today, which probably can be one of my most gloomy day (and lack of spirit, too =D). Get up, dechan, you have to survive for yourself, and don't worry, you are not alone and you never know what lies ahead !


"Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed.."

Labels: Almost Honest

Thursday, 12:29 AM
current mood : naik-turun
soundtrack of the day : the great escape - boys like girls


hello lagi !
hari ini, setelah cuti kerja selama 2 minggu, akhirnya saya balik lagi ngantor (apaan sih bahasanya!) di tempat kerja kesayangan saya (dengan wajah berlinang airmata) yaitu T.G.I Friday's

FYI aja sih, tapi ini kerjaan pertama saya setelah saya resmi pensiun jadi penulis gara2 kesibukan sama kuliah plus tugasnya yang seabrek (ternyata ambil double major itu gak gampang, yah? haizz!) dan saya disini berperan jadi EXPO. kerjaannya ngapain aja? yah, nanti kapan2 saya jelasin.. soalnya posting kali ini bukan tentang apa yang saya kerjain, tapi tentang temporary working partner saya, Suu Yu Boone (aduh, sori ya kalo salah tulis namanya. Besok saya cek ulang deh cara nulisnya di labour card. hehe, peace !)


Sebetulnya Boone ini bertugas sebagai nacho, bikin sandwich, salad.. and of course, seperti nama departemen dia, nacho. mulai dari 1/2 ultimate beef/chicken nacho, full ultimate chicken/beef nacho, sampai yang paling sederhana yaitu kids nacho.


Karena satu & lain hal, hari ini Yu Boone 'dilempar' untuk temenin saya yang notabene-nya hari ini kena shift kerja dari jam 4-10 dan bertugas buat ngerjain closing duties-nya EXPO selepas shift saya beres.


Dia terhitung staff baru, dibandingin sama saya yang udah gabung semenjak restoran ini baru buka (tapi kok kerjaannya masih juga ngga beres ya? ah jadi malu !). Yang saya inget, ini orang dulunya pendiam, jaim, dan nggak banyak ngomong. Dia kuliah di KDU, semester 2, dan ngambil major culinary arts. Yaa.. masak2an gitu sih kayaknya (dasar guwa KEPO !). Tapi ternyataa.. ditinggal cuti sama saya selama 2 minggu, ini orang udah berubah BANYAK. Banyak ngomong, banyak ketawa, banyak ngejek orang, banyak makan, dan banyak2 yang lainnya lagi. Ah ternyata.. diemnya dia itu dulu cuma karna dia masih BARU aja ! Huh, tertipu !!


Hari ini karna cuma ada saya & dia di EXPO, saya banyak NGERJAIN dia. Ya Allah, ampunilah saya karna ngerjain makhluk 1/2 chinesse & 1/2 japanesse ini (menurut pengakuan dia). Dia percaya2 aja waktu saya bilang kalo mac & cheese itu perlu dilapisin sama aluminium foil plus dipanggang di oven. Aduh ngga kebayang ya, kalo kita masukin aluminium foil plus benda lembek kayak mac & cheese ke oven. Untungnya dia sadar kalo saya cuma bully2 dia dan batal deh kemungkinan dapur terbakar habis gara2 ulah iseng saya ngerjain dia.



Tapi yang paling aneh, Yu Boone yang ternyata punya peliharaan mulai dari kelinci sampai ular (kuning, panjangnya 5 meter, setebel pergelangan tangan dia, dan punya hobby ngegigit majikannya *OMG!*), mendadak minta resep bakso sama saya.

50	gram ebi, rendam air hingga lunak, tumbuk halus
500	gram daging ayam, cincang halus
2	sendok makan tepung maizena
2	butir telur
2	sendok teh garam, 1 sdt lada bubuk,
1	sendok teh pelezat serbaguna rasa ayam
2	sendok makan bawang goreng, remas-remas
2	batang wortel, potong dadu
50	gram jamur kuping, rendam air dan iris halus
100	gram soun, rendam air hingga lunak, tiriskan, potong-potong
Bahan	Kuah:
1,5	liter kaldu ayam
1	sendok makan margarine
3	siung bawang putih, memarkan
1	Cm jahe, memarkan
2	sendok teh garam dan 1 sdt merica bubuk
Bahan	Pelengkap:
	Irisan seledri
	Tongcai
	Irisan daun bawang
	Saus sambal

Cara Mengolah :

1. Campur ebi yang telah ditumbuk halus dengan ayam cincang, aduk rata. 2. Masukkan tepung maizena, garam, merica, bumbu pelezat serba guna rasa ayam dan bawang goreng, aduk rata. 3. Tambahkan wortel, jamur dan soun, aduk rata. 4. Uleni hingga menjadi adonan yang dapat dibentuk. 5. Bentuk adonan sebesar bakso. 6. Kukus selama 30 menit hingga matang, angkat. Membuat Kuah: 1. Panaskan margarine. 2. Tumis bawang putih hingga harum, masukkan ke dalam kaldu. 3. Tambahkan jahe, garam dan merica bubuk, didihkan. Menyajikan Bakso: 1. Siapkan mangkuk, isi dengan bakso dan kuahnya lalu taburi dengan irisan seledri, daun bawang dan tongcai. 2. Sajikan hangat dengan saus sambal.

Rasanya kayak apa? Ih.. jangan ditanya! Saya juga ngga berani ngetes... yah saya berharap aja.. Yu Boone nggak keracunan. Soalnya dia ngebet banget pengen bisa masak bakso! Kata dia, dia udah biasa masak masakan Jepang yang lagi ngetop banget, dan digilain sama dua makhluk di bawah ini:



BIODATA:

Nama : Shinta Muchlis a.k.a Javachips
TeTaLa : 11 Februari 1988
Hobby : -Ngomongin Sushi Zanmai & Super Junior ! =p

- Main Game !!!!































Well.. well... saya masih ngga tau kayak apa resep itu setelah jatuh ke tangan Yu Boone. Maaf yaa.. itu bukan resep original saya. Saya quote deh, biar kalo kamu sakit perut, bisa digugat! peace, ah !! ;p

Labels: hell's kitchen