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.a stolen story about suspicion, betrayal, desire, and redemption.
"there's no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these.." - jason mraz |
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hear me out .
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Deszya, VIC, Melbourne
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Deszya Yulian's Profile Create Your Badge |
"when i stand, i know i'll never be down again" - shiina ringo
I capture myself as a portrait of an extremely random person and i am proud of it. I had never been an easy person to hang out with, can be all over you one day but then hardly seem to know you exist..
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Date: Monday, 17 August 2009 || Time: 11:25 am
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I'm not an early riser and everyone I know has noticed that *ops. But sometimes I'm forced to wake up early and actually I enjoy it. No, I'm not forced to wake up early because I have classes in the morning. I don't have any morning class ever since I graduated from my bachelor degree and sometimes I grin stupidly because I feel so mature and sophisticated because of that. Call me lame, but whatever :p I have every right to enjoy this private pride! *grins This morning I woke up early because I had to attend a medical examination in CBD. Until today, I didn't realize how peaceful it was to walk in the City early in the day. It was not crowded at all, and the air felt really, really fresh. But most of all, what probably I love most is to get on the train early in the morning and just zoom out with a good book on my lap. Today's book was On Writing by Stephen King. Another book that I swept from RMIT library. I keep on thinking that, as an author, I can never go far. I'm always trapped in a cliche, no matter how far I want to bail. For a long time, I think it's just me, no other author has ever doubted their talent. Not even once. This is the basic foundation that made their creation envious and worth a best selling. Apparently... I am wrong. Stephen King has proven it. He kept hearing his teacher saying why he wanted to waste his talent, why he wanted to waste his time, why he wanted to write junks. Heaps, heaps of junk. That's what I call all my novels project. "The reality is harsh, I should've realized the limit to my talent a lot sooner". This sentence was written on Departures, a Japanesse movie that I recently watched. It was just the right movie at the right time for me. The story line was just... flawless, encouraged me in ways that I couldn't explain. Writing is a lonely job, King once said on his book. Having someone who believes in you makes a lot of differences. There's someone who knows. They don't have to make a speech, just believing is usually enough. How wonderful those sentences to me... It made me realized that for so long I've forgotten that I've people who believe in me. Not even once stated their doubt. And recently, I found someone to talk a lot about my media. It's such a revelation. Today another idea was born. Al I have to do is framed it. I've currently a trilogi project, probably this one should be postponed. I want to work on the new one. I don't know why but the story line moves me emotionally. I just love it, I can't explain why. I'll post about this new idea further more, cause now I gotta run for classes. Take care! Labels: Almost Honest, it happens everyday |
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Date: Monday, 10 August 2009 || Time: 5:24 pm
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Okay. Today was definitely not a good day for me. For starter, I woke up late. Again. Even though I have promised my friend that we would meet at campus for lunch. I did not know why I was kind of hazing this whole day, I figured that it was hard for me to focus on every single thing. I screwed up the refill machine in the library, causing a very long queue behind my back. Luckily there was this indian guy helping me to deal with this monster machine. Okay, not its bad, it was my bad... I thought the machine was the same machine like the one I got in my previous uni. Dear, it won't hurt to ask...! Then after seeing my lecture notes, I was... uhm, shocked. The one I got in my Bachelor Degree was totally different from what I got now. Apparently business did not required a lot of power point. My first lecture note for Digital Video & Audio was 29 pages, and video & audio got a totally different lecture notes so I was required to print both. Gee... now I started to question myself why I jumped from business to art. But whatever... it's now or never... once in my life I gotta do what I really want to do. I've done business to satisfy what my parents wanted, alright... Apparently I chose the wrong printing location, thus my documents never came out on the printing kiosk. Imagine... I was queueing 3 times, still I didn't find my documents. Gee... I loathed this kind of feeling, being stucked in some new place with no idea about what was actually going on. After hesitating (which I wasn't actually sure why), I approached the service desk. The person told me to take the stair to level one and asked one department called R something (I forgot the name). And I WALKED OUT from the library, tried to find level one. Tell me how stupid was that? Oh my, I really did not pay attention to what he just said. I felt so silly, I found him smiling when I came back to the library, and my face was all flushed with embarrasment. Aaagh...! Another hazing stage attacked me while I was doing my laundry. I was supposed to put all my wet clothes to the dryer. I took it out, put it to the nearest machine, put $4 to the machine, then... gee, I realized that I just put them inside ANOTHER WASHING MACHINE. Yes, true, I tried to wash them twice in a row. I could not help myself but laughed about it until 2 Chinese girls starred at me, confused. Oh my, what was wrong with me today? Later on that day, I went to Starbucks to buy a shot of tall Java Chips. Maybe coffee would wake my numb brain. As the barista flashed her smile, she asked me whether I had a good day and I just smiled in silent. I've met her before and she wrote my name wrongly. Too far from being correct. It was supposed to be D-E-S-H-I-A, but she wrote A-L-I-S-H-A. Pardon me but perhaps she was on her hazing stage, just like me. "Can I just grab your name for your coffee, please?" She asked, still smiling while my head was up above the sky thinking I did-not-exactly-remember and a pang hit my heart with no valid reason. A stressful, surreal, blur. "Deshia..." I said, not expecting that she would spell it right. Even my friend sometimes spell it wrong and I was already okay with that. I mean, whatever. Then she put my order on my desk and I saw D-E-S-H-I-A was written perfectly on my cup. I blinked as I reached for it, suddenly felt so happy. Finally someone spell it correctly without me telling them how to spell it! Yay-ness! Oh wait... Ugh... this would probably mean that I was the only person who stayed hazing for the rest of the day. Aw, that's sad... Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Sunday, 9 August 2009 || Time: 1:57 pm
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Monday
16:30 - 17:30 LE1 Network Culture (EN405) 17:30 - 19:30 TU1 Network Culture (BA808) Tuesday 17:30 - 19:30 LE1 Digital Video & Audio (EN406) 19:30 - 22:00 CL1 Digital Video & Audio (AS407/409) Wednesday 18:30 - 21:30 CL1 Communications Environments (BA804) Thursday 17:30 - 18:30 LE1 Multimedia Imaging (EN406) 18;30 - 21:30 LA1 Multimedia Imaging (AS407/409) Friday 11:30 - 12:30 Network Culture 17:30 - 19:30 Basic DSLR Saturday 10:00 - 14:00 Novel Writing Finally my schedule is released! It's hectic, but I like it that way, cause it gives me no time to do stuck in front of my laptop doing nothing. I'm afraid of Digital Video & Audio, though, cause I basically know nothing about it. Wish me luck! :) Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Saturday, 30 May 2009 || Time: 3:40 pm
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My friends once told me that winter makes you gain weight like crazy, skyrocketed. First Gerry, then Adit. I believed neither of them at the first time, somehow always tried to tell myself that I would be able to control myself. I always do TRY, but now... oh my effin'... I haven't stopped eating! I just could not. It's getting cold and my mind always stuck on food. Food for brunch. Food for tea-time. Food for dinner. Hot chocolate. Sushi. Croissant. Waffle. And pie! Oh yeah, can you believe that I am actually capable of eating one big pie platter all by myself within one afternoon? Ugghh.. I keep on chewing! Omigod, my roomie keep on saying: GENDUT to herself all the time, but even she has been beaten by the freezing weather, just like me. Help! Have to seal my lips, for good -_-' Tak sengaja lewat depan McD Ku melihat ada banyak burger Dihiasi indahnya kentang goreng Hati bertanya, Maukah kamu mampir? Tanpa sengaja, kumakan burger mcD Tanpa berdosa, kutelan kentang goreng Ku tak percaya... diriku tega, memamah biak... sepanjang winter (harap dinyanyikan di kunci F, dengan nada lagu 'Tenda Biru') Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Tuesday, 26 May 2009 || Time: 8:30 pm
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Nudge, Nudge... I think this one deserves another round of fight. Metaphorically or literally? Both. I am not going to bow down or bow out. I will run for my life. Even though there'll be noone stand with me, I'll stand up for myself. I almost forgot that the main reason I am here now is for my future's sake. For my bachelor degree. For my RMIT. For my parent. For me to prove myself that I can be someone. I almost forgot that no matter how hard and rough my days could be, I should never forget my priority. And guess what? Those simple thoughts have put me right back into shape. All those tears I have to fall will be worth it. I promise myself. I am the phoenix, I raise from my ashes! Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. I'm the world's greatest! Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: || Time: 12:06 am
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apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes apes
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Date: Saturday, 23 May 2009 || Time: 7:03 pm
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I know that we humans are capable of doing anything if we put our minds to it. Thus, even though I currently have lots of things wander around on my mind, I know I'll be able to overcome each and every single thing, at the end. Oh what a blind faith.. whatever! I need to encourage myself so that at least I'll be able to focus on every SINGLE thing.
It has always been so for a couple of days. So many things to do. So many things to keep track off. I'm not going to complain though, not on my last days with my beloved friends from my bachelor degree. I promise I will spend each minute to remember how funny, how silly, and how crazy things can go around us. I love it, and surely gonna miss it! :( Today I went to CBD and signed my offer letter for.... RMIT So all I need to do now is just study as hard as I could, and after my result come out, I'll be officially enroll as RMIT student. Er... I dunno why I'm not so ecstatic anymore 'bout those master-degree-thingy. I am, but at the same time, I am not... oh no, what's wrong with me? Becoming extra sensitive lately. But that's okay, I will keep it under the surface :) I need more coat for the upcoming winter! I want more dresses, but why everything has to costs so much? Really want to hit Camberwell... maybe before my exam or after my exam, whichever... have to concentrate and pray hard for my exams. Oh exams, I love you so much, much, much! Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Thursday, 21 May 2009 || Time: 10:16 am
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Yup... well, at least up until 18 June. Oh no, I guess I'll limit my study day up until 17 June only *naughty me* I cannot believe, again time cheates me and it fly me to week 13 without giving me chances to glance back at all my notes (or what i've tried to scribble in my pink-3-subjects-notebook for the last couple months). I am about to start with International Banking Finance, that creepy final Banking and Finance subject - the one that required me to run to RMIT library due to the lack of textbook resources in my own campus - like, today. As if. I am such a procrastinator, I should stop doing it! I hate being a last minute person, I hate carrying what's left for me as the consequence. So here I am, promising myself that I will at least score a distinction on my final semester. I am targetting a straight distinction for IBF. I know that's such a great expectation, considering that I have no idea about what my lecture have been trying to say to the class this semester. I'm so sorry Sir, you are a good person... really, but uhm... we just fail to understand what you've been lecturing to us for the past 4 months :( For Auditing.. well I guess I finally got the idea of this 'challenging-career-to-be' subject. But for Advanced Financial Accounting? Hhh.. let's just pending it till... I dunno. What a subject! Anyway, today is Thursday and I am fasting! Been years since my mum encourages me to do Monday-Thursday fasting. I'm sorry, Mum... :( I have something that I want so badly I barely could sleep everytime I remember it. I pray so hard, and I hope one way or another I could get it. Hmmm... that's what human do, absolutely. They remember God when they are down, sad, or wish for something. I am feeling so guilty cause I know I am one of them. But... uhm, better late than never, right? Anyway, I don't know why I am posting this blog when I am supposed to study (or pretending to study? kidding..). I just want to share, I guess. I surprised one of my friend because I zipped my mouth lately from what I've been through (dheijh, sorry for the trouble I caused you last Sunday ><). Vivient told me that the more you talk about it, the faster you can get over it. True, I know, but somehow I prefer to let it go and walk with what I've on me right now rather than keep looking back. Life, it gives you hundred reasons to cry. So what you need to do is... simple, gives life a hundred reason to smile! I am currently listening to Positivity by Suede, and I am feeling... positive! :) Anyone has any idea of nice songs to be listened while studying? Mind to share? Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Wednesday, 13 May 2009 || Time: 6:48 pm
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hari minggu senang-senang.
hari minggu batuk-batuk sedikit. hari senin terlambat bangun. hari senin perut sakit keras karena salah makan. hari selasa terbang begitu saja. tidak ingat apa-apa. hari rabu selalu sama. suram dan panjang. besok? apa yang akan terjadi besok? ingin besok. tidak, saya rasa, saya ingin long distance relationship dengan realita saat ini. Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Tuesday, 28 April 2009 || Time: 5:59 pm
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If it's a broken part, replace it But, if it's a broken arm then brace it If it's a broken heart then face it Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Tuesday, 31 March 2009 || Time: 12:10 pm
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Suatu sore yang panas di sebuah suburb penuh dakochan, Footscray (prefer menyebutnya Footsy biar unique & chic ^^) Shinta: eh, ada lebah! ada lebaaah!! Echa (sambil cuci piring): bilang aja 'pait, pait.. pait' Shinta: pahit! pait! pahitt! Echa (telat mikir): eh, lebah sini ngerti gitu arti pahit? Shinta: bitter! bitter bitter!! *** Some random girl (SRG): have you taken X subject? Me: Yap, last sem, but that time the X lecturer didn't ask us to do an individual assignment SRG: ow.. how do you know that I'm about to ask you about that individual assignment-thingy? Me: well, that's easy. half of the classes already did. SRG: oh.. i c. Nvm then. but do you still remember your format for your X individual assignment last sem? Me: *block SRG's MSN* Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: || Time: 11:08 am
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Cowok #1: "Badan jadi seger ya, habis latihan!" Cowok #2: "Iya, apalagi tadi gua kan mandi soluna, keringet pada keluar semua. Badan jadi enteng!" Fitness First, Mega Kuningan, didengar oleh pengunjung lain yang merasa sedang dalam klub latihan debus. Sambil menonton DVD, Cewek: "Widiiih, I really want that kind of body! Perutnya flat banget!" Cowok: "Makanya, tiap pagi shit up aja..." Didengar oleh si cewek yang membayangkan di WC sambil kayang. Cowok #1: "Gokil! Tuh chef hebat banget ya, bisa masak sambil aktraksi sulap gitu." Cowok #2: "Iya, hebat ya. Kan jarang ada chef yang bisa masak." Kedai kopi di Jakarta, didengar oleh pengunjung lain yang ingin menyulap si cowok #2 menjadi kelinci...dan memasaknya. click here for more hilarious stories : http://ngupingjakarta.blogspot.com/ Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: || Time: 10:39 am
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 Setelah berbulan-bulan merasa jadi imigran di negara Kangguru, well, at least, kita boleh bangga sebagai orang Indonesia. Kenapa? Karena tanggal 28 Maret kemarin, bisa cukup dipastikan bahwa di Jakarta (err.. masih ingat, kan? Itu nama ibukota Indonesia, hello?) Lampu Sepanjang Jalan dari Blok M, sampai ke Bunderan HI Thamrin sana itu dimatiin, dan banyak papan-papan Earth Hour di sepanjang jalan. Di Bundaran HI, Hotel Hyatt sama Mandarin terlihat gelap, dan juga banyak orang yang memenuhi sekitar Air Mancur Bundaran HI yang mati. Sementara di Melbourne CBD, guess what? Setelah berhari-hari dihantui sama bilboard Earth-Hour campaign, ternyata.. pukul 8.30-9.30.. City terang benderang! Malah, di Federation Square digelar konser dimana Om-om Jabrik nyanyi lagu country & so pasti konsernya menyedot ribuan watt listrik (hello? berapa banyak soundsystem dipasang disana, sampai saya rasanya bisa tuli mendadak TT) too bad, though. I've been dreaming of watching the stars, surrounded by a pitchblack City :( Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: || Time: 10:03 am
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I'm about to get lucky ! Have a nice day, everyone ! I know I'd have mine for sure -off, heading for Williamstown beach- Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Monday, 9 March 2009 || Time: 11:41 pm
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everyone is talking. they don't really care even though it might hurt someone else's feeling. i think i often be part of 'them'. i talk about people's from time to time. we all like it. we like it too much until we forget about something crucial. we are busy thinking about other's life. stop talking. mute yourself, be a deaf person, and blind your heart for a second. then ask yourself. have you bothered about your own life? Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: || Time: 11:31 pm
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i am a big fan of internet. cannot live without it, already addicted to it. can somebody release me from this spell? i have to start flipping my auditing notes for my midtest, since i spent time only for sleeping during the lecture. oh gosh, i forget one thing... complaining in my blog tells everyone that i'm such an internet addict >< darn, darn !!! ps: glad to find a friend who likes Radiohead. finally, have a friend to share quite a similar taste of music. bye bye to those korean musics, girls! i got a partner who fancy something that i fancy too.. yippie ! :p Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Saturday, 7 March 2009 || Time: 4:12 pm
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melangkah sendiri menawarkan sebuah senyum pada asingnya dunia baru ini yakin bahwa semuanya akan baik-baik saja p.s: you'll be in my heart, dear, don't worry! Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Monday, 16 February 2009 || Time: 7:25 pm
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Deszya |
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Date: Monday, 24 November 2008 || Time: 2:03 am
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So what’s your song? Instructions:
Play mode: ON
If it kills me - Jason Mraz (hell yeah, definitely right!)
Sisqo - Dream (Haha.. yeah, it probably took a dream to tell me that i love you lately)
Yong Folks - Peter Bjorn & John feat Victoria Be *true! i love being young!
U nwritten - Natasha Bedingfield “I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplaneed...” this is so damn true!
Brokenhearted - Boyz II Men
Summer Love Prelude - Justin Timberlake *what? hahaha!!
I Belong to Me - Jessica Simpson "I don't need somebody to complete me, i complete myself. Nobody got to belong to somebody else."
Built This Way - Samantha Ronson "And I'm wonder, if I were built this way.."
I'm Not In Love - 10cc *hahaha, I guess yes, they've seen me trying hard to refuse this fact
Have You Ever - Brandy
Untitled - Maliq n the Essentials
Milikmu Slalu – Andien
Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Thursday, 6 November 2008 || Time: 12:56 am
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i'm asking for your help.
for anyone who continuously reads my blog, do me a favor please? how you'd describe me in three words? thanks before! :) Labels: it happens everyday |
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