".. tgl 14 des sumpah d akan gw nyatakan sebagai hari tersial dalam hidup gw semenjak tiba d bandar sunway...
mau tau detailnya (gw pake nama samaran supaya menyelamatkan nama mereka d masa depan):
pertama, gw n Inez Hanafiah (IH) *hooooeeekkkkk* mau nntn drama jepang yang baru gw beli... rencananya mau nntn pake laptop gw soalnya yang lain pada lagi d pake buat internetan... kita coba lha mencolok k colokan paralel yang sambungannya dh menyambung nth ke mana2... kita coba nyalain, cetak cetik, ga mau nyala juga dia, lalu Tutu turun tangan dan ikutan cetak cetik sana sini, ga sampe semenit kemudian.. DUUARRR!!! sumpah ngga boong, tuh colokan meledak sambil mengeluarkan bunga2 api *yg sama sekali ngga mirip kembang api* lalu terjadilah teriakan menggelegar dari gw dan IH, soalnya Tutu lagi megang colokan laptop sialan itu pas lagi meledak...
sedetik kemudian Tutu mengeluarkan suara yang menyatakan dia baik2 aja *menangis lega* lalu kita buru2 keluar dan mencoba menaikkan tegangan listriknya lg, namun apa daya ga mao idup juga...
jadilah gw ma Tutu ke security d bawah dan security blg kalo kita ngga bisa perbaiki sekarang soalnya maintenance lagi ga ada *secara kejadian berlangsung pukul 3 pagi waktu setempat* jadi kami balik ke kamar dan melihat kalau lampu telah hidup, ternyata housemate mama tiri *yang rumahnya kita tempatin*
ga tauny, 3 menit kemudian.... mati LAGI!! so kita diam2 aja d kamar... dan yang lebih mengejutkan... 5 menit setelahnya, pintu diketok, kirain housemate mama tiri, ga taunya... tededeng... Mr. *** datang dengan pakaian tidur bersama 2 org security... mintain semua ID kita, lalu d 'wawancara' lha gw, Tutu dan IH. Aiyo... Suer kita ketakutan bngt, karena IH bukan penghuni dsini actually, pada akhirnya kita d lepas dengan syarat besok musti ktm dia (gw ma mama tiri soalnya dgn gebleknya gw d sangka tinggal d sana... parah!)
so kita diskusi abis2an mengenai masalah nie, berdasarkan tebak2 buah manggisnya kita... yang ngelaporin adalah HOUSEMATE (baru menyangka), lalu kita tidur dengan pikiran ngga enak...
pas lagi enak2 mimpi... tiba2 TOK TOK TOK segede gaban... sambil panggil2 mama tiri, Miss ***** datang ma Mr. ***** dan seorang security, GILA! mama tiri kena 'wawancara' pagi tu.. masalah listrik udh selesai, dateng lagi MASALAH BARU, kita d tuduh ngeribut... monyet banget lha, org tadi malem kita ga ribut2 sana sini kok, anjrit lha, prasangka td malem dh positif, housemate gila yang laporin... SIALAN! monyet, sumpah monyet kali...
lalu menghadaplah kita k Mr. ***, dnasehati blah3... lalu dsuruh bikin surat... arrgghhh, males banget deh...
padahal suer ga ribut, gw ma mama tiri maen internet smentara 2 lagi dh mau tidur, mau ngeribut juga gmn... huh...
yang aneh, gw masi d sangka serumah ma mama tiri, geblek sumpah... dh males ngomonknya, biarin aja... yang bikin bete lagi kita dh blg kalo kita takut d house masing2 karena kosong, eh si *** ga peduli, sialan banget lha... coba anaknya d culik ntar... sukurin sana...
tp, sorenya kita senenk, karena impian fergie makin dket... hehehehe... plg FF dh seger truz dh lupa sama semua kesialan hari nie... fiiuuhhh... ga lagi d ada hari beginian...
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.a stolen story about suspicion, betrayal, desire, and redemption.
"there's no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these.." - jason mraz |
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hear me out .
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Deszya, VIC, Melbourne
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"when i stand, i know i'll never be down again" - shiina ringo
I capture myself as a portrait of an extremely random person and i am proud of it. I had never been an easy person to hang out with, can be all over you one day but then hardly seem to know you exist..
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Date: Saturday, 31 May 2008 || Time: 8:55 pm
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this girl just has too much things wandering on her mind. lately. or to be more specific, it's been a half-year since she trapped in these thoughts. "i'm not a bad person." "i'm a good person. and a loyal friend." "well at least i think i've tried to be." "yeah.. i've tried. and i'm still trying." "i respect your existence." "i have never hurt someone purposely." "i love love too much, i can picture perfectly how hurt it is to get hurt. so, no, i won't purposely hurt someone." "i like being special. even though, i'm not." "i hate cats." "i hate being alone." "i'm scared that i might not be 'something' when i grow up." "i don't want to make anyone disappointed." "i want to meet the right person." then her phone vibrates. one sms received. "hey there... how's your assignment? can you send it to me? simply send what you've been up to, ASAP. thx." another one comes. "can you come to the foyer? i need you to help me with these parts. c u !" she presses erase. then flips her phone and throws it away. she gazes through the ceiling, as she listens to the rain drops in the porch. she can sense some thing's about to come from the back of her eyes. tears. "i don't need a friend, i just need someone to talk." "well it's hard to live, it's hard to live in the city i've been following you for blocks & i wish you would stop and tell me your name but i couldn't understand what you told me as you runaway so just lay your head down low don't let anybody know that it's hard to live, it's hard to live in the city tell those questions i have no answer i wish that i could sit in the sun" (Hard to Live In The City - Albert Hammond Jr.) Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: Thursday, 29 May 2008 || Time: 2:52 am
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 I sleep with myself and I wake up with myself. I stare through the mirror and reminisce: Today I feel like myself, knowing what I know, doing what I do and acting the way I are. You are today yourself, nothing more and nothing less. Tomorrow you want to be someone else. Today is what you already know. Just remember yesterday you wanted to be tomorrow. PS: May can possibly be the longest month ever. Every year I feel like May never ends, and no-offense but I hate may as much as I hate March. Come on June... save me before May finally kills me ! Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Monday, 26 May 2008 || Time: 9:55 pm
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He never like a rainy day like this, when the sky was so dark, dark above. No good for his photography project, titled The Last Day of Summer. But for her, nevertheless how cold or dark it was, she always felt the most glorious feeling when it rain. She gazed towards the cloud above, laughing its dark shadow. The sun in her heart shone, and she said she was ready for love. Was ready for love... She walked down the lane, with a happy refrain. She had another cough, but she didn't care. She carefully walked along the sidewalk, under her bright umbrella, carefully held the new canvas she just bought this morning. Carefully kept it from the pourin' rain. Outside the park, she saw him. She walked across the road, and waited for him. Smiling towards him, even though she knew he couldn't see her. Busy with his photography project, starring at one potrait to another. Another cough, this one was a bit hurting her throat. She closed her mouth with her hands, and accidentally dropped the canvas to the wet ground, dragged his attention from his projects. He caught her figure by the main entrance of the park, and he smiled at her. "Hey, come sit here with me!" She smiled back, while he helped her to take her stuff from the floor. He wondered what was inside, but decided not to ask. Not now. She saw some blood dropped on her hands, but trying to hide it from him. She was about to tell him something, but suddenly she lost her balance. She heard he said something when he caught her with his arms, and saw he looked very worried. "Are you okay? You look so tired. Told you not to go out in this stormy weather. Let me take you home, okay?" "No please... I just want to be here." She found it hard for her to catch her breath, and knew that he could notice it. But she smiled and convinced him not to take her to the hospital. He helped her to take a seat in the nearest park bench, carefully landed her head on his laps. This afternoon could never be more perfect. For them. It was her favorite weather, in his favorite place. Randomly met one another. Felt like a serendipity, and she could never be happier than now. In other way, he could sense that there was something wrong with this comfortable moment. When she had another cough, he felt all his worries took control of himself. All of a sudden, his fear, his worries, they grew stronger. Again, there was something wrong with this pictured perfect moment. He found himself tried to hold her, didn't want to let her go. No, not anymore. "I'm so sleepy right now. Would you open this for me?" she asked, her voice was so slow he could barely hear. "What's with it?" "That was for you. I know you always like a pure white canvas..." She tried to laugh, but instead she had another cough. He knew that all his fears had reasons. Those fears were growing stronger while her face turned more pale, and another cough. Again. He caught her hands and held it tight. Another image potrayed in her face that afternoon. He knew, he knew by that time he could perfectly pictured how beautiful she was. Not only the outer side, but... her inner side shone like never before. Her strength... her spirit to live, day by day... how she never complained even once about how hurt she was. That was, so amazing. A picture is worth a thousand words.. but words can never describe the whole amazing things she carried with her... Soulmate, aren't they? He didn't know... he wished he knew... before it got too late... Maybe. Maybe someday they would, in another lifetime. Only God Knew... and only God could explain. "Do you mind if I go to sleep now?" she asked sweetly, with her childish and innocent smile potrayed perfectly in her pretty face. With all the strength he got left inside, he tried to look her in the eye. His tears felt his eyes. He closed his eyes tight and held her with all the strength he got. With all his feelings that he could never tell her. Frustration rushed through his blood when he felt her heart stopped beating. The rain has stopped falling. The last leave fell to the wet ground. His last goodbye to her. That being said with millions broken pieces in his heart. He never knew.. he never knew that he would pronounce it like this, with tears that could not stop falling. It was late in Friday afternoon, 18:55, the last day of summer. Their last goodbye... Labels: my own fairy tale |
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Date: || Time: 4:34 am
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Serena stared at the bus that has just passed by.
16.55 pm, late in the afternoon, June 24th. Her 21th birthday. For a stranger who only walked through, she looked normal. No, actually she wasn't plainly normal. She might not realize how pretty she was. Nobody cared enough to tell her. Nobody, except Niki. But Niki has never encouraged himself to tell Serena, and Serena was too busy dealing with her fragile self to notice what she saw everyday in the mirror. 16:56 pm, her bus to Perth would arrive in 4 more minutes. Serena could not wait in peace. She kept thinking, while her earphone played the song that reminded her about the first day she saw Niki. You could be my unintended Choice to live my life extended You should be the one I'll always love I'll be there as soon as I can But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before *** 8 hours earlier...Niki sat at Potrait, a small coffee shop by the end of 4th Avenue, 12 blocks from his apartment, the place where he worked as a part-time barista every weekend. It was 24th June, Serena's 21th birthday. He was about to congratulate her and asked her out for a movie for the first time - and maybe finally told her about what he felt to her - when Serena turned on her cigarette and blew the smoke right through the cold window. The rain hasn't stopped falling since last night, and her skin looked more pale than usual. It totally matched her dark-blond-long-curly hair, which fell perfectly framed her unique face. It has been zillion times that thought came through his head, warmth his heart everytime Serena's brown-eyes gazed at him, but again he never encouraged himself to tell how pretty she was. Serena was too fragile. She looked normal for others, but he knew how fragile she was inside. He was the one who held her when she cried after finding her mother died in the kitchen's floor, accidentally overdosed and was too late to be cured. Back then, 2 years ago. That was the first time they were together without arguing out loud. And this morning, it happened again. "Cigarette will kill you, don't you know that?" Niki started, while Serena took the second cigarette. "Well, yeah, like you care so much. Why, your parent never let you to smoke? Have one, then. Remember. They are far away now, back there in Indonesia," Serena replied, definitely trying to make him mad. "Coffee and cigarette, everyday. Serena, you're only 21. Are you sure after you collapsed that day, you still want to continue torturing yourself?" Niki reminded her about one crazy night when Serena suddenly called him, telling him she wasn't able to breathe. Suffocating. Niki still remembered how scared he was, thinking that he would lose Serena that night. She was suffocating on her bed, all alone late in the night. He took her to the hospital, and could not stop praying ever since. He could not stand seeing Serena cried along the journey. He felt like he could feel her pain too. But yet, he never told Serena about it. Niki has never known that... when he came to the emergency room that night, Serena could have never felt any happier in her whole life. Saw his cold face all about to cry... kneeling and praying.. Gosh, she has never seen anyone cared about her so much like he has done. Yet, she never told Niki how thankful she was, having him accompanying herself through her fear to medicine and her freaking oxygen mask. "I got an awful bronchitis, yeah, so what? At the end I'll die too, that won't make a difference. I don't have anyone, and my life ain't perfect. I got nothing to lose if I die tomorrow." She said rudely, seeing Niki right in his dark eyes. Those amazing eyes that calmed her even when she was so lonely and scared. Gosh, did Niki ever realize how lovable he is? "You got me loosing you..." Niki whispered, and stood up. Potrait was about to open, and his manager would not be very happy if he saw Niki sat there doing nothing while people queuing in the counter. Serena knew she heard Niki said something, but she was too busy with her plan to escape to Perth this afternoon. She didn't have any destination, but still, it didn't stop her to do so. The reason why she woke up this early was to tell Niki that she's leaving, but Niki didn't even bother. Niki was still Niki. Cold, unpredictable. Serena was tired, arguing with him almost everyday, but however, she could not get over him. He was the one she got ever since her friends runaway knowing her mother suicided herself, 2 years ago. "I'm leaving!" She shouted towards Niki's back. "And I mean it. Don't even bother to look for me anymore..." and by that, she left Potrait, slammed the door hardly. Niki turned around, about to open his mouth, but he knew he was too little too late to catch her. Peter, his manager, has already arrived, and he knew Serena has been there earlier. They must have crossed over earlier. Nobody understood Serena's position. Everyone they knew thought that she was a trouble-young-woman, having a mother who killed herself, and nobody to look after her anymore. Her father's family... well, she didn't even know where his father was. He could sense her loneliness. He always could. He wanted her to know that he would always be there for her, took care of her. Anything for her. But one argument after another made him felt tired, and he forgot what he meant to say right-after, hoping that tomorrow he or she would not start another stupid argument thus he could tell her what he really felt about her. One thing that he didn't know, there might be no tomorrow for them. Serena would leave this afternoon, and he probably would never know. Peter turned on the music, and Niki recognized it as one of his favorite song. Actually, Serena's. She told him about this song and how she was crazy about it, and ever since than, Niki felt the same way too. Some days, they could be fit for one another more than everyone else. But those moments were rare, and that was why Niki remembered each of them. Duffy's melodic sound still played to the loudspeaker. Took his memory back to Serena. Again and again. Warwick Avenue... When I get to Warwick Avenue Please drop the past and be true Don't think we're okay just because I'm here You hurt me bad but I won't shed a tear Hey, Serena... Don't you that... even though you hurt me bad, I'll always be here for you. I don't care how these differences tear us apart. I want to fall for you, only you. *** I'm leaving you for the last time baby you think you're loving but you don't love me and I've been confused outta’ my mind lately you think you're loving but I want to be free Baby you hurt me Maybe Warwick Avenue defined how she felt to Niki lately. She wished so could tell him, but she couldn't, remembering how rude she has been, nevertheless Niki was always there. How could she deserve such a perfect person like Niki? She turned to her left, seeing a couple whispering to one-another. And she missed Niki. Naively, she hoped Niki would come, saved her, like he used to be. She didn't want to leave, but she needed one reason to stay between people who hated her. Niki? And their confusing relationship? And their never-ending argument? No, that would not be a good reason. Non-sense! Serena stood up. Her bus was supposed to arrive now. It was 17:02 PM now. Time to say goodbye. To Niki, even though he wasn't there. It hurts to say goodbye, Niki... it really does One thing that she didn't know, Niki was there. In the station's main gate, looking at the bus schedule. If only she had turned around... She missed the change. And, probably, so did Niki. All the days spent together, I wish for better and I didn't want the train to come, now it's departed I'm broken hearted, seems like we never started All those things here together, when I wished for better and I didn't want the train to come *** 2 blocks from the bus station, 16:56 PM Niki almost running out of breath while running on the sidewalk. He totally forgot that he should pick his sister thirty minutes ago. By the time he reached there, a bus has just arrived, blocking his sight. Darn it! He couldn't see his sister. 17:06 PM. What if her sister has already left? Geez, she has never been there before! And remembering how careless she was... she could be anywhere right now! Darn it!! "Niki... ! Niki... !" He turned around, recognizing his sister's voice. She ran towards him in a rush, looked furious and confused. "I'm sorry, I know I'm late. I was..." "Where did Serena go to?" She cut his words directly. Of course, she knew exactly what Niki felt about Serena, but refused to be in between, seeing how fragile their relationship. "What? I don't know. She came to me this morning, and we had a fight, and she left, and..." "Didn't you ask where she would go?" "No, I was mad at her 'cause..." "You shouldn't be. Know what? It's ridiculous. I saw her took off just now. I was about to get out from my bus when i saw her buss leaved. So, do you know where does she go?" Niki paused. He looked at nowhere, knowing that his last chance to tell Serena has gone. Knowing that he didn't know where she would be. Or why she left. Or the reason why he should stand here. For who? Serena wasn't even here anymore... When I get to Warwick Avenue I'll tell you baby, that we're through *** Labels: my own fairy tale |
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Date: Sunday, 25 May 2008 || Time: 4:21 am
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 i like sunburn. i like plug-in baby. i like hysteria. i like starlight. and i like you. Labels: my own fairy tale |
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Date: || Time: 4:04 am
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I want you. I trust you. I am coming to you.
(Oscar Wilde-1895) it's cheesy. but i don't care. i just want to fall for you. Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: || Time: 1:16 am
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yes, i'm not, but somehow i managed to get two publishers to publish 2 of my books to the market, Cinta and Grasindo. it's been quite a long time since i stopped writing. i stopped because i had to focus for my UAN/UAS. i stopped because i had too many things to deal with my ex-boyfriend, good and bad things, for sure. i stopped because i moved to Malaysia and ever since then been busy with university life (doing double major, accounting&banking-finance turned out to be an exhausting year, not to mention consuming times also). i stopped because i managed myself to get a part-time job. and now, when i decide to write again, i'm stuck. more blank than a pure white A4-size-paper. i twist hundred words. still, i cannot find the right word to start a story. Right now, it's only me my camera, my laptop, my lousy grammar, and those crazy emotions that could never be expressed freely nor being talked out loud by me. 1 minute feels like forever. Writing this diminutive, fastidious arrangement of words unquestionably does make me feel like a bad writer. Having envy feelings for those who write without flaw or without intermissions are torturing. My life ain't so groovy, even for me, i just never had something spectacular enough to be written back in my journal or being told to everybody i know. Been almost 20 years, and me still full of self-doubt and never-ending-questions-of-how-to-be-better for those that i love dearly. These are just short updates and some unexciting experiences ever since i moved abroad. As I’ve said before these are just short updates. And the latest one really made me broke. Into pieces. I've hurt someone that i love dearly, and i'm chickening here, don't know any better word to apologize. Please, excuse me right about now. I am not feeling well due to this heavy argument I have been through few hours ago. A cut so deep, i don't even feel like deserving it. I'm only 19 year old and 11 months. My thoughts aren't wise enough to satisfy everyone's desire. My emotion needs to be expressed freely. Please, excuse me for now. I just need to make peace with myself. I've been hating it long enough. Maybe I should stop. Gosh, i'm so tired ... see, i'm not a good writer at all. i bumped from one thought to another, and it didn't take even more than a second. Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: Saturday, 24 May 2008 || Time: 11:49 pm
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 rest in peace, my negative thoughts rest in peace, my absurd memories rest in peace, my faults rest in peace, those suicidal thoughts i don't need you today i won't need you tomorrow and i will regret it in my old days if i ever listen to you i might not be the most perfect person alive i'm full of flaws... and sometimes those thoughts kill me, slowly but surely but oh God, please i beg you to listen to me i don't want to waste this bless You gave me lead me with Your light, thus i'll be able to show those that i love dearly the way to Your heaven Amin. P.S.: .. setiap benda yg ada d bumi sekecil2nya..sejelek2nya..pasti punya arti penting(koko Martha, 2007) Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: || Time: 3:39 am
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aku kadang suka bertanya... kalian benar-benar teman aku atau bukan, sih? terutama belakangan ini. merasa terlupakan, tapi tahu betul reaksinya ngga akan bagus kalau saya bilang langsung. abis saya tipe orang yang meledak-ledak. saya takut, nanti saya malah ngomongin sesuatu yang nantinya bakal saya sesalin habis2an. tapi saya sendiri ngga bisa nahan diri untuk bertanya : apakah saya selalu ada di urutan terbelakang dalam friend-list kalian ? atau.. teman itu cuma aksesori supaya ngga kelihatan sendiri? bahkan saya ngga yakin kalian tau kalo beberapa minggu ke belakang saya sempet drop banget. tapi ya gapapa kali ya, saya lebih suka gitu daripada merusak kesenangan kalian. dunia kalian perfect. jadi... nikmatilah! saya sendiri ngga mau ngeliatin wajah sedih saya. kita memang bukan tipe penghibur yang baik, akuilah... jadi kita selalu pendam perasaan kita masing2. nangis sendirian di kamar masing2. pernah ga terpikir, akan terasa jauh lebih lega kalau kita berbagi ? tapi lagi2, saya terlalu takut untuk bicara. saya lebih baik play safe daripada harus kehilangan kalian semua. saat jauh dari mana2, kesepian adalah musuh terbesar. dan saya ngga mau kesepian ngalahin saya. efeknya fatal, saya bahkan ngga berani ngebayangin. tapi serenggang apapun hubungan ini, saya pengen kalian tahu, bahwa saya sayang kalian. saya menghargai setiap waktu kita, walaupun saya ngga banyak terselip dalam waktu kalian. dan dari kalianlah saya mempelajari satu hal : "lupakan kebaikan kita terhadap orang lain, dan ingat kebaikan orang lain terhadap kita..." P.S. : posting ini ngga ada maksud untuk menyindir pihak2 tertentu. saya ngga mau berantem cuma gara2 blog. konyol, sih. ini cuma luapan perasaan. emosi sesaat. and by that, i DO mean it. terima kasih atas pengertiannya. Labels: in my darkest hour |
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Date: Friday, 23 May 2008 || Time: 4:56 am
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di-copy apa adanya dari blog si kucing, tanpa ada sedikit pun perubahan. sekedar mengingatkan bahwa, sudah hampir 2 tahun berlalu semenjak hari paling sial di bandar sunway ini. dan siapa sangka, sudah banyak banget hal terjadi semenjak itu ?
*hmmm.. ayo2 siapkan segepok tisu !! ahahahaa.. |
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Date: || Time: 4:15 am
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 Be your daddy's little girl forever, my dear cause even though you've already met those fancy guys *or fancy boybands* he's still the one who shares his blood with you Be your mum's lil daughter still, my dear cause even though your friends tend to agree with anything you say she was the one who gave you a chance to see the sunrise for the first time Be our cheerful friend for the day after tomorrow, my dear cause distances means nothing if we hold onto our treasures memories.. our laugh.. our tears.. no matter how far you go no matter how old days have gone by be who you are still, friend and trust me, you'll find your pure way of happiness.. have another wonderful year, dear.. and happy birthday.. Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: || Time: 3:53 am
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 send me one before the night kisses you a termporary good-bye, will ya ? it'll be okay for me to see your name in my inbox, typing one letter and one letter only : "K.." 22/10/2007 22:30:54 Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: || Time: 2:29 am
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skip the introduction part. forget about the discussion session. let's talk about the overall conclusion, and do not try to argue cause i've tried my best to be honest, and that's not easy when i had my head somewhere over this misery . . . first : it is hard for you to tell your brain to focus while it totally 'appear offline' second : it is not easy to push your brain's online button when it stuck on someone far far away that you miss terribly without even knowing why... third : i know i should get well-prepared for my final exams, started from 12th of june up until 23rd of june fourth : it is not the first time people tell me that i am competent enough to get more than 'PASS', so i should put more effort and make those crazy expectations come true before i disappointed those who rely on those crazy expectations *o, help ! fifth : but on the other side, i know i've been lacking of words to explain how to solve what i wrote above (second statement, red.) sixth : i don't have any sixth senses to help me sense any of my future. it's either i'm gonna fail my exams, or i'm gonna fail to tell my feeling, or combination of both. moreover, my 20th birthday is coming. i can't stop wishing for a perfect getaway, and i can't stop praying that on my birthday.. after hearing many trashy-selfish-argument, i think i deserve something nice, as a reward for being nice . . . lastly - ".. oh God, tonight i bend on my knees, hoping for Your bless, please bless me with words that will be filled by that person. i don't need any other miscommunication. i just need to be understood. or, is it too much to ask for ? .. bless me with pure knowledge, while i promise i'll try my best by putting as much effort as i could.. please do not leave me alone regretting of all that i've failed to achieve.. this time, i'm gonna make it .. Amin.  Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: Wednesday, 21 May 2008 || Time: 10:04 pm
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 There has never really been a moment when you weren’t on my mind Still the spaces that divide us, the differences, the time—its all about timing isn’t it? But the seconds when we’re together and all the stars line up to give us the most beautiful view these seconds are worth the waiting, the pain, the doubt, and the hope for something brighter further on up the road. Yes the seconds we’re together, when nothing else matters, when we’re sitting on a park bench and the cool breeze caresses Cause you and I, no matter the season or time, day or night you’ll find me sitting, just waiting, chasing the memories. The place we will always go back to. And maybe we will meet again, in some park, on some bench, and life will get out of our way, and you can take me home, to my first real home with a bench of our own where we can stargaze, and moon gaze. Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: || Time: 8:09 pm
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 when it rains And when it rains, On this side of town it touches, everything. Just say it again and mean it. We don't miss a thing. You made yourself a bed At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole) And convinced yourself that It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore And oh, oh, how could you do it? Oh I, I never saw it coming. Oh, oh, I need the ending. So why can't you stay Just long enough to explain? And when it rains, Will you always find an escape? Just running away, From all of the ones who love you, From everything. You made yourself a bed At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole) And you'll sleep 'til May And you'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore And oh, oh, how could you do it? Oh I, I never saw it coming. And oh, oh, I need the ending. So why can't you stay just long enough to explain? Take your time. Take my time. Take these chances to turn it around. (take your time) Take these chances, we'll make it somehow And take these chances to turn it around. (take my...) Just turn it around. Oh, how could you do it? Oh I, I never saw it coming. Oh, oh, how could you do it? Oh I, I never saw it coming. Oh, oh, how could you do it? Oh I, I never saw it coming. Oh, oh I need an ending. So why can't you stay Just long enough to explain? You can take your time, take my time. when it rains - p a r a m o r e taken from : Riot! (2007) Labels: it happens everyday |
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Date: || Time: 6:33 pm
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 ".. you can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things that you don’t want to feel Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: || Time: 7:04 am
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 jujur, ini adalah salah satu resto yang rasa tingkat suka dan sebal saya berbanding tepat. kenapa? yah, gak bisa aku bilang sih... demi menyelamatkan pihak2 yang namanya nggak mungkin aku sebut *senyum nakal*. anyhoo, buat yang belum pernah coba, please visit : Address: Top of the Menu :   mau tahu pendapat orang2 tentang resto ini ? well.. so far.. ada baik dan buruknya, seperti diakui oleh kawan2 saya yang sempat bekerja disana. saya pribadi, yang pernah ditolak sama managernya yang (sensor), ngga memasukan kritik apa2 demi menjaga kenetralan suasana.. ahahahhaa *apa sih?* Ratings & Reviews Summary for Sushi ZanmaiWhat Users are Saying:
 07/14/2007 Posted by kmcarty zanmai definitely has a good atmosphere and is always fun to go to, however, truth is their sushi is not the best (although after a few sakes that doesnt matter a whole lot!). the last few times ive been in they have been less than generous with their cuts of sushi and sashimi. ive also seen better presentation and service at other sushi joints. zanmai is in a great location but it wont be my first choice for sushi next time i go out. Pros: atmosphere, location Cons: pricey, small pieces
 03/05/2007 Posted by cgar7109 We went there to celebrate friends birthday in one of their sake-bombing rooms and they gave away our reservation that had been made 2 weeks prior and confirmed several times before our arrival. Once we complained about this we were given an awful table that did not suit the needs for our party. On top of that one of their former employees tried to start a fight with one of the members of our party. The manager did nothing and when we called back, to ask about a friend's camera that was left there, she did not apologize and tried to cut the conversation as short as possible. Messing up reservations is one thing but not apologizing is another. That is my first and last time I will ever go there. PS: saya harap ini ngga terjadi untuk ultah Silai, ya? PS lagi: kenapa saya post tentang hal gak penting gini, sih?? *garuk2 kepala* Labels: hell's kitchen |
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Date: || Time: 6:52 am
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Date: || Time: 5:35 am
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 Sekolah Menengah Umum. Sekolah Lanjutan Tingkat Atas. lebih dari sekali nama SMA dirubah, tapi makna dari SMA sendiri itu nggak akan pernah bisa dirubah. tak terlupakan. see the picture above ? Yes, the famous Blair Cornelia Waldorf, was born into high society on Manhattan's exclusive Upper East Side. Her father is Harold Waldorf, Esq., and her mother is Eleanor Waldorf. The youngster is 5'4" and slender, with beautiful blue eyes, and she's simply all that. Pretty, rich, smart, has such an adorable boyfriend, Nathaniel Archibald.. okay, admit it, if you were just a mere girl like Jenny Humphrey, you probably would totally envy her! She's just all that you can't be !!she's the queen bee.. and you are.. well.. nobody knows you. percaya atau nggak.. tapi dalam kenyataan, stereotype macam Blair Waldorf atau Regina George (Mean Girls character) memang betulan anda! true, keberadaan mereka 'mengancam' kamu2 yang notabene nya biasa2 aja, terutama dalam acara 'ngeceng-mengeceng' (geez, is that even a word?). tapi, matter of fact, jangan boong deh... kamu pasti ngga bisa berhenti senyum2 kalo salah satu dari mereka memuji penampilan kamu. atau pinjam catatan kamu. ya, kan? *ngaku! haha* beberapa dari mereka juga ngga jarang bikin kamu nangis. ya, kan? e.g : what if the guy you like happens to pay more attention to her, since she is well-noticed, comparing to you? *aw.. sakit.. hahhaa* merasa terintimidasi karna terancam gak terpilih jadi panitia acara sekolah karna posisi idaman kamu udah 'dihibahin' ke dia oleh senior kamu? well.. yeaa.. admit it, she's more popular than you ! she might be the sweetest girl ever.. but to you.. she's nothing more than a two-faced monster !! okay2, sebetulnya tujuan saya post blog ini bukan bikin siapapun - termasuk (mungkin) saya sendiri- merasa terintimidasi dan bernafsu buat nyobek2 album kenangan jaman SMA. hahaha.. sebaliknya, posting ini saya tujukan untuk mem-boost self-esteem! belakangan, saya nemuin satu quote yang bagus banget, dari film kesukaan saya sepanjang masa, Mean Girls: calling somebody else fat will not make you any thinner calling somebody else stupid will not make you any smarter and you've got to stop calling each other sluts and whores it just makes it all right for guys to call you that (Mrs. Norbury, Cady Heron's Math Teacher) buat aBeGe, saling sebel satu sama lain itu biasa. buat kita yang sudah lumayan jauh dari masa2 SMA mungkin bakal cekikikan geli kalo mengingat2 masa itu. tapi coba deh tanya sama diri kamu sendiri, apakah kamu sudah berhasil berdamai sama diri kamu sendiri? dulu kamu pernah sebel sama para queen bee ini, dan ngerasa serba 'kurang' kalo dibandingkan sama mereka. tanpa disadari, setelah jauh dari para queen bee ini pun, kamu masih ngga berhenti buat nyalahin diri kamu sendiri kalau kamu ngga berhasil jadi yang terbaik di kampus. nyalahin diri sendiri karena weekend kemarin kamu rasa kamu kebanyakan nyemil coklat/es krim kesukaan kamu. dan sejuta komplikasi hal lain yang membuat kamu tanpa sadar 'berperang' habis2an sama diri kamu. aw. capek ngga, sih? pernah bertanya nggak, sampai kapan kamu mau ngelakuin hal ini, padahal SMA udah jauh berada di belakang kamu, dan keberadaan para queen bee pun sudah ngga terlalu mendominasi hari2 kamu lagi? berdamai sama diri sendiri itu indah, lho. kalau kamu bisa berdamai sama diri sendiri, otomatis kamu akan lebih bisa menerima diri kamu apa adanya dan merefleksikan siapa kamu sebenarnya. apa adanya. enak kan, gak perlu pura2 setiap saat? banyak lho hal yang kamu lewatin selagi kamu sibuk 'berperang' sama diri sendiri. ".. like it or not, you'll be stuck in this body forever. so, why don't you try to love it and take a good care of it, instead of torturing it with those imperfect thoughts in your head? let it go.. cause nobody's perfect." last but not least... hehe, boleh sedikit bersyukur kok, karena kamu sudah berhasil melewati pressure masa SMA yang gila2an dengan 'selamat'. :D x.o.x.o Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: || Time: 12:33 am
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 may, 20th 1:29 AM current mood : bubbly soundtrack of the day : be be your love - rachel yamagata malam ini aku bermimpi. re: malam ini aku bermimpi. hey, what's so special about dreaming ? hmmm.. i won't bother if it's just a mere dream, but.. i never had a dream like this before. this one felt so real.. warm.. full of emotion. seriously ! oh no, you didn't see me cry. it was just an allergy.. okay, i'm not that sentimental ! so here's the story goes.. i didn't know where i was neither what i did that time, but i was pretty sure that i was very very scared. there were some guys chasing after me (names could not be displayed, sorry), and i tried to runaway and locked myself inside some abandoned building. i cried and was totally scared because i was all by myself. suddenly, i didn't know when or how.. he came.. and rescued me. he got into a fight with these guys and got injured pretty bad. when he finally be able to reach me, he was bleeding. he held me in his arms, trying to stop myself from crying. but i just couldn't. "hush, dear.. it's alright now. i'm here, and i will never let you let me go. forever." "but forever is one God's own," i replied, between my tears. He didn't reply. He just looked directly to my eyes and kissed my forehead. it was a long and warm kiss.. it was like... well, i didn't really know how to explain it. he just made me felt save.. covered.. and warm.. but somehow.. i read somewhere that.. kiss in your forehead shows how much the person love you sincerely and afraid that he/she might lose you someday, which is most probably gonna happen. and if this dream shows how much i love that person, gosh.. i cannot imagine how hurt it will be to lose him. somehow i managed to discuss this crazy thought to my friend over YM, and she said: martha dewi: satu opini dr saia martha dewi: anggap mimpi itu cuman bunga tidur aj, apa mungkin anda kadang masi suka ketakutan sm pria2 dkk dan masi ragu sm takut kehilangan dia gk? deshia yulian: mungkin campuran smuanya ditambah perasaan kesepian mengerikan yg lg mnyerang dgn gencarnya martha dewi: ato kalo emg arti mimpi anda gitu, at least anda perna punya sesuatu yg "berharga" itu klo guwa sih.. pasti ada sedikit perasaan bersyukur aj drpd menyesal apa takut yg berharga itu hlg krn guwa pasti merasa lbh beruntung dr org laen *whew, panjang* Should i be happy.. or should i be sad? I don't even think he knows how i feel... I've been awake for a while now You've got me feelin' like a child now 'Cause every time I see your bubbly face I get the tingles in a silly place And it starts in my toes And I crinkle my nose Wherever it goes I always know That you make me smile Please stay for a while now Just take your time Wherever you go The rain is falling on my window pane But we are hiding in a safer place Under covers staying dry and warm You give me feelings that I adore What am I gonna say When you make me feel this way I just mmmmm And they start in my toes Makes me crinkle my nose Wherever it goes I always know That you make me smile Please stay for a while now Just take your time Wherever you go I've been asleep for a while now You tuck me in just like a child now 'Cause every time you hold me in your arms I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth wherever you go I always know 'Cause you make me smile Even just for a while (bubbly - colbie caillat)    Labels: Almost Honest |
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Date: Friday, 9 May 2008 || Time: 12:01 am
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i had such a long nite this Thursday. Long and exhausting.
first, i knew that i should prepare for my financial accounting test. but yaahh i just had no mood to flip pages by pages of my workbook so i signed in my YM and my friend rizki called my YM. i was tired, been crying for the whole afternoon for something silly yet immature problem. it was just a mere miscommunication, actually, and i was glad that 'we' could solve it. yay! loove the way it is! and knowing that 'you' have been trying to send me messages.. but I didn't get it.. ehhmm, i dunno why but it made me feel warm. cannot stop SMILING !! aaww.. !! so when rizki called my YM and started talking about his problem *which basically also about miscommunication*, i couldn't stop myself to encourage him and supported him to call the girl and explained everything, just like the way i did. Before it got worse, rite? we talked for hours before i realized that.. my AC has stopped working. For an Indonesian who used to live in cool-climate-city *even though it is no longer cool anymore!*, of course i was panic! i could not sleep under this crazy HOT room, and it would mean that tomorrow i won't be able to focus on my test! so i climbed.. trying to fix it.. but the dust that came from the AC's ceiling gave me problems of breathing. yeaps, i got asthma! in this crazy hot weather, i got asthma.. perfect! and all of a sudden, my internet connection GONE ! i mean.. it was TOTALLY gone! i could not even find my wireless's profile on the wireless LAN system! that was CRAZY! my housemates told me that they both accidentally erased the profile form the wireless system! Gosh... i dunno that by doing their assignments in a rush, it could compel them to be more CREATIVE! congratulation ! so after finally i-dunno-how-but-after-playing-with-the-remote-control-buttons-suddenly-AC-worked-again, I fell asleep. even though i just revised 2 chapters out of 6 chapters. and that stupid asthma still didn't wanna go away. PANIC? well.. apparently i wasn't. even though i told ikwan that i haven't studied, i still didn't feel panic. even though i couldn't even answer the 1st page, i didn't. well.. maybe i just wanna enjoy this day. by smiling. hmmm... maybe it's worthed! after such a long nite of suffering? yeaa why not having some fun? =) p.s. : thx for your supporting sms! even though i couldn't do my test, that worked as a special fire that lighten up my day ! hehehe ! Labels: Almost Honest |
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